Your Co-Workers Are Complicated (Yes, Even Jane in Accounting)

This is part of a series of articles on Social Excellence in the workplace called “The Relationship Business Series.” Because after all, we’re all in the relationship business. For more helpful content like this, sign up for (free) The 21 Days of Social Excellence.

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by Matt Mattson

Your co-workers are complicated.

Jane in accounting always seems hurried and tasky and cold. But did you know she has a history of multiple traumas in her life. She lost a parent in a tragic accident at a young age, and she was assaulted in college. She's very afraid of getting close to people, even though she deeply longs for it.

Pedro in the HR department is the loud, party guy, right? Kind of annoying sometimes. But that guy tries so hard to bring joy to his work-life, because he knows that when he goes home to care for his aging mother, he can't bring the energy that is so important to his identity. In fact, it's been really hard for him since his mom started sleeping all the time and he needs to keep things quiet for the whole afternoon and evening at home.

Samantha, the marketing manager, often appears distant and detached during team meetings. Little do her colleagues know that she battles chronic anxiety and depression, which make it difficult for her to fully engage and express herself. She constantly worries about being judged or misunderstood.

David, the software developer, often keeps to himself and avoids social interactions. Behind his introverted nature lies a painful divorce that left him emotionally scarred. He struggles with feelings of loneliness and insecurity, making it challenging for him to trust others and form new connections.

Sarah, the customer service representative, is known for her short temper and occasional outbursts. Few realize that she is going through a difficult custody battle, fighting for the well-being of her children. The stress and emotional strain have taken a toll on her, causing moments of frustration and vulnerability.

Jamal, over in IT, is great at his job. But nobody has ever really asked him what truly makes his heart soar. So nobody really gets him. See, he's a youth hockey coach over at the YMCA and he's mentored and cared for hundreds of kids over the last 10 years. He's one of the sweetest, most thoughtful, most compassionate people those kids have ever known... but at work, he's just the guy you ask to fix your email.

Michael, the project manager, always seems overworked and stressed. He carries the weight of financial struggles and mounting debt, as he supports his family while also pursuing his dream of starting a business. The pressure to succeed often keeps him awake at night, impacting his ability to focus and maintain a calm demeanor.

Lisa, the administrative assistant, is frequently seen wearing long sleeves, even in warm weather. Unbeknownst to her colleagues, she battles self-harm urges as a coping mechanism for deep-rooted emotional pain. Each day is a battle for her to overcome the inner turmoil that others cannot see.

What about you?

The Digital Ceiling: An Invisible Barrier Limiting Your Career Potential

This is part of a series of articles on Social Excellence in the workplace called “The Relationship Business Series.” Because after all, we’re all in the relationship business. For more helpful content like this, sign up for (free) The 21 Days of Social Excellence.

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by Matt Mattson

I was talking with my business partner, Josh, the other day. He's always tuned into a different frequency than I am, and I love learning from the way his mind works. We were talking about the changing dynamics of the workplace (probably sparked by us both feeling really old around a bunch of young Gen Z employees who are out-working, out-thinking, and out-hustling our greying selves).

Anyway, he said this, "A phenomenon I don’t hear anyone talking about is that entry level work is digital... work from home stuff. Mid-level work is managing digital and remote workers. But C-level work is still largely personal. It’s still who you know. Ignoring Social Excellence is accepting something like a digital glass ceiling on most people’s careers. While everyone may work from home, Social Excellence may be the difference between the traditional cubicle job and the metaphorical corner office. The C-suite, small business owners, start up founders, VCs, and major players of tomorrow will be the ones who embrace Social Excellence principles today."

He's smart.

There's a Digital Ceiling that is being built right now. Made up of invisible ones and zeroes. Made up of people choosing to work from home. Made up of the comfort of digital-only work.

Not that working from home is a bad thing.

It's just that it is limiting.

Today's young workers will have to work really hard -- harder than ever -- to build the relationships that will prepare them for ascendency up the ranks. Today's young workers will have to do more than walk few offices down, or take the elevator up to the 7th floor... they'll have to actively build and sustain real relationships.

Historically, the corporate world has looked at Social Excellence training as a "nice to do." I believe they called it "soft skills." Now, it seems more essential than ever that we know how to build personal patterns of behavior that will lead to real relationships (that will lead to you building the career you dream of).

Love At Work: How To Do It In Front of Everyone

This is part of a series of articles on Social Excellence in the workplace called “The Relationship Business Series.” Because after all, we’re all in the relationship business. For more helpful content like this, sign up for (free) The 21 Days of Social Excellence.

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by Matt Mattson

I just want people to feel loved at work.

Is that crazy to say? Love. At work?

Do you feel loved at work?

I really do think it's possible for people to feel that.

[PAUSE] Did you think this article was about romance in the office? Sorry. I’m not great at clear article titles. Ooopsy. #clickbait [RESUME]

As I was saying... I really do think it's possible for people to feel love at work.

Someone just has to break the ice. Someone just has to give love first.

Here are ten ways you can give LOVE to others at work (and yes, this list is inspired by the book, "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.

Words of Affirmation: Offer sincere and specific compliments to your colleagues, acknowledging their unique strengths and contributions. For example, tell a team member, "Your attention to detail on that project really impressed me. You have a remarkable ability to spot even the tiniest errors."

Acts of Service: Help alleviate a colleague's workload by offering assistance or taking on a task without being asked. For instance, surprise a coworker by saying, "I noticed you've been swamped lately. Let me take care of that report for you so you can have some breathing room."

Quality Time: Set aside dedicated time to connect with your coworkers on a personal level. Arrange a lunch or coffee break to engage in meaningful conversations unrelated to work. Show genuine interest in their lives and actively listen to their stories, thoughts, and aspirations.

Gifts: Thoughtfully select small tokens of appreciation to show your colleagues that you value them. For example, give a coworker a book related to their hobbies or interests, accompanied by a note expressing why you think they would enjoy it.

Thoughtful Gestures: Show kindness through thoughtful gestures that cater to your coworkers' preferences and interests. For example, if you know a colleague loves a particular type of tea or coffee, surprise them with their favorite beverage one morning. This simple act shows that you pay attention to their preferences and care about their well-being.

Acts of Inclusion: Create an inclusive and welcoming environment where everyone feels valued. Include coworkers in conversations, invite them to social events, and ensure they have a voice in team discussions. For instance, actively seek input from introverted colleagues who may be more reserved.

Encouragement and Support: Be a source of encouragement and support for your coworkers during challenging times. Offer words of motivation and reassure them of their abilities. Share a heartfelt note with a colleague who's facing a tough deadline, saying, "You've got this! Your dedication and talent will see you through."

Mentorship and Guidance: Offer your knowledge and experience to mentor colleagues who may benefit from your guidance. Provide constructive feedback, share insights, and empower them to grow professionally. Taking someone under your wing and investing in their development is a powerful expression of love.

Celebrate Milestones: Acknowledge and celebrate important milestones and achievements of your coworkers. Send them a congratulatory email, recognize their accomplishments in team meetings, or organize a surprise celebration to honor their successes.

Random Acts of Kindness: Engage in unexpected acts of kindness to brighten someone's day. Leave a positive and uplifting note on a colleague's desk, bring in treats for the team, or offer to take on a task they dislike. These small gestures can make a big impact and create a culture of love and kindness in the workplace.

*BONUS* Say “I Love You:” I know this stretches the boundaries of some folks (and some workplaces). But I'm personally a big believer that the more we express our true feelings of platonic and natural human love for people, the more we can break free from the bonds of societal expectations that keep us all safely arms-distanced from each other. Don't share this bonus recommendation with HR.

Remember, demonstrating love at work is about creating an environment where people feel valued, appreciated, wondered about, noticed, and like they matter. Lots of folks have life backgrounds that never gave them those feelings. Your little gestures might mean a lot more than you know.

Your Water Cooler Game Is Weak

This is part of a series of articles on Social Excellence in the workplace called “The Relationship Business Series.” Because after all, we’re all in the relationship business. For more helpful content like this, sign up for (free) The 21 Days of Social Excellence.

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by Matt Mattson

Hey there friend. Are you really coming at your colleagues with that weak water cooler game?

The weather. Sports. Commuting delays. The boss. 

C'mon. You're better than that aren't you? You really want to spend your whole career with surface level conversations that result in surface level relationships that result in a surface level life?

Dig in. Connect. Ask a powerful question. Be curious about why your colleague said that. Ask about what matters. 

Water cooler moments (or coffee breaks or pre-meeting chit chat or hallway banter) don't have to be just a moment that passes. They can be moments that matter.

Your career success, and your life's fulfillment, will be determined by your ability to connect. Don't settle for the surface. Dig a little.

CONFERENCE NETWORKINGZZZZZZZZZ

This is part of a series of articles on Social Excellence in the workplace called “The Relationship Business Series.” Because after all, we’re all in the relationship business. For more helpful content like this, sign up for (free) The 21 Days of Social Excellence.

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by Matt Mattson

Conferences, conventions, meetings, and seminars. Staples of professional life. Whether you’re a corporate connector, an association maven, a non-profit networker, or really anyone else with a job or an organizational affiliation — you’ve been to a conference.

Sometimes those conferences are amazing. Sometimes… maybe most times… they’re painful.

*SPECIAL NOTE: Are You An Introvert? Read This Too!

Sure, the keynote speakers are entertaining. Sure, the food and beverages are delightful. Often just being away from the office (and home!) can be the real treat. But the real reason people attend conferences often leaves them wanting.

“I want to build relationships in the industry.”

“I’m hoping to build a network of people who I care about.”

“I want to find a mentor who can be my advocate and supporter.”

“I want to learn how other people across the country are dealing with the challenges I’m facing.”

IT’S THE PEOPLE, PEOPLE! Great conference experiences – the ones people tell stories about, the ones that change lives — aren’t built from room rates, staging, A/V, signage, apps, or scheduling. They’re built from an environment that encourages and supports real, meaningful, care-filled relationships.

And I don’t mean an exchange of business cards. Yuck! I’ll be honest… I absolutely HATE “conference conversations.”

“Where do you work? Oh, what do you do there? Mmm-hmm. Now where did you say you live? Oh, it’s so cold/hot/flat/beautiful/friendly/big/small there. [Forced laughter] How about this weather. Well it was great to meet you, [Peeks sneakily at nametag] <INSERT FIRST NAME>. Can I get your business card? Let’s stay connected. I need to check my text messages. It was a pleasure meeting you.”

We know that when you ask people why they attend a conference, they’ll tell you “TO NETWORK” as one of their top two reasons. But most people leave most conferences feeling empty and cheated. They went to ed sessions. They saw the keynotes. They even went to the “networking events,” but they didn’t make any real connections. They had a lot of conversations like the one described above. “Conference conversations.” Surface level. Yuck.

In an increasingly disconnected world, face-to-face meetings matter now more than ever. But the meetings can’t feel like an extension of social media — individuals broadcasting their agendas with gossipy trolls commenting in the wings. Meetings need to be full of HUMAN CONNECTION. That’s why people are coming.

When the conference environment fails to deliver this feeling of authentic human connection, participants (and more and more, vendors) put a band-aid over the awkwardness by serving… booze (in some industries, anyway). Lots of it. All day long. Which makes the conversations slightly louder, funnier, and more entertaining — but not more important, impactful, or long-lasting.

So what do you do if you’re a meeting planner or someone in charge of organizing conferences? Our opinion (and yeah, this is a sales pitch): Open the conference by reminding participants that humans are social animals – everything we’re trying to accomplish as professionals, as leaders, and as change makers depends upon our ability to connect with other humans.

• Social Excellence is the philosophy through which you’ll succeed no matter what your job is.

• All leadership is social. Your ability to connect determines your ability to lead.

• All networking is based on authenticity and vulnerability, not sarcasm and wit.

• Real, meaningful conversations are all anyone really wants, but most of us aren’t well-practiced in creating conversations with meaning.

• The real learning at a conference happens when people discuss the real application of lessons – outside the session room.

• People will be happier and more likely to return to your conference if they can create real relationships with multiple people.

Here’s the thing. Most people know they want to “network,” they know they want “connections,” and when you ask them privately, they also know that they get nervous, scared, awkward, and clumsy when it comes to actually trying to make new friends.

Bring human connection to your next conference or meeting. Nothing else matters if your attendees don’t feel connected.

"Nobody is BOLD Anymore." (The Missing Professional Ingredient in Your Beige Career)

This is part of a series of articles on Social Excellence in the workplace called “The Relationship Business Series.” Because after all, we’re all in the relationship business. For more helpful content like this, sign up for (free) The 21 Days of Social Excellence.

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by Matt Mattson

Are you feeling stuck in your professional journey, craving a fresh perspective and a renewed sense of purpose?

I dare you to try out a posture in your professional conversations and relationships this next quarter... see what it does for your career.

Ready?

BOLD.

Before I dive in too deep, let me explain why I'm writing this article... Sometimes in professional development seminars or keynotes, I'll have my audience choose their favorite word from our definition of "Social Excellence" (click here to read it for yourself).

People used to pick "bold" all the time.

As the years have passed (and generations have shifted), fewer and fewer people (fewer young people especially) are picking the word, "bold." Perhaps its the prevailing pessimism of Gen Z. Perhaps its the story of financial insecurity shared by too many of the Millenials who came before them. I'm not sure what it is... but we're seeing fewer and fewer bold voices in the workplace.

BOLD.

That word is important. That word is powerful.

And to be honest, that word is often misunderstood.

When I say BOLD, I don't mean being pushy, obnoxious, or wreckless with your interactions.

Quite the opposite. Boldness requires finesse. Boldness is born in your heart. Boldness is selfless, when done right.

In a sea of mediocrity, where complacency is the norm, choosing to be bold is a radical act of self-liberation. It's about breaking free from the shackles of fear and complacency and embracing the fullness of your potential. So, let's dive deeper into what it means to be bold in your workplace interactions and conversations.

Being bold means standing up for others. It means being their advocate, their ally, and their voice when they can't find their own. Boldness empowers you to challenge unfairness, inequality, and discrimination, creating a workplace that fosters inclusivity and belonging for all.

Boldness also requires humility — the humility to admit when you don't have all the answers, the willingness to seek advice and guidance from others, and the openness to learn from different perspectives. It's about recognizing that collaboration and shared knowledge are the pillars of growth and innovation. It's about fighting for the collective wisdom of the team over the limitations of individual loud voices.

But boldness doesn't stop at humility — it takes courage to share your opinions, knowing that they may face resistance or disagreement. It means embracing constructive conflict and engaging in robust discussions that challenge the status quo. By sharing your unique insights and perspectives, you contribute to a culture of diverse ideas and breakthrough solutions.

Being bold is not about merely pointing out problems; it's about being solution-oriented. It's about bringing proactive and innovative ideas to the table, demonstrating your commitment to making a positive impact. Boldness means rolling up your sleeves, taking ownership of challenges, and working tirelessly to find resolutions that propel your team and organization forward.

So, how can you cultivate boldness in your professional life this upcoming quarter?

Will you accept the dare to be bold in your professional interactions and conversations?

Start by embracing discomfort and stepping out of your comfort zone. Challenge yourself to take on new projects, lead initiatives, or speak up in meetings. Each step you take outside your comfort zone will strengthen your boldness muscle and expand your capabilities.

Remember, being bold is not a one-time act but a lifelong commitment. It requires perseverance and resilience. Embrace failures as opportunities to learn and grow. And above all, be true to yourself, as boldness stems from authenticity.

Now is the time to break free from the chains of conformity and choose the path of boldness. Embrace the power within you and let it illuminate your professional journey. Be brave, be humble, be courageous, and be the catalyst for positive change. Your boldness will not only transform your professional life but inspire those around you to do the same. It's time to be bold.

Professional Networking for Young Pros in Today's Modern Business World

This is part of a series of articles on Social Excellence in the workplace called “The Relationship Business Series.” Because after all, we’re all in the relationship business. For more helpful content like this, sign up for (free) The 21 Days of Social Excellence.

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by Matt Mattson

Today's ever-evolving business landscape can be intimidating. Especially for young professionals.

You obviously already know that professional networking plays a crucial role in career success and personal fulfillment. But effective networking is much easier to talk about than it is to do.

Let's explore some below-the-surface-level guidance and a handful of actionable tips to enhance your networking skills.

(Hint: This is all based on our proven Social Excellence philosophy. Learn more for absolutely no cost at all by clicking here to sign up for a 21 Day email series.)

1. Every Moment Is A Choice

Our professional lives are comprised of numerous momentary interactions that shape our reputation, personal growth, and professional network. We are defined by our choices in these tiny moments. These fleeting connections, whether we choose to engage or not, have a significant impact on our professional lives. While there are many aspects of our professional lives beyond our control, how we engage with fellow professionals remains within our influence. Remember that networking is not merely collecting LinkedIn connections or business cards; it's about building authentic relationships with real people. Approach networking as a calling from the heart and make intentional choices in every interaction to strengthen and nurture your network.

2. Introverts are Networkers Too

Labels such as "introvert" or "extrovert" should never hinder us from achieving our networking goals. While these labels help us understand our tendencies and energy sources, they should never stand in the way of us from becoming exceptional professional networkers. Whether networking in-person or online, introverts can excel by embracing their unique strengths and employing the following tips:

- Seek out smaller, intimate networking events or online communities where you can engage in meaningful conversations.

- Prioritize quality over quantity, focusing on building deeper connections with a select group of individuals.

- Leverage your listening skills and empathy to make others feel valued and heard.

- Take breaks when needed to recharge and find moments of solitude within networking environments.

3. Create the Culture You Crave

As professionals, our environment significantly impacts our well-being and growth. While some may find themselves in toxic workplaces or feel disillusioned by industry dynamics, we have the power (or at least some power) to shape the culture we desire. Networking is not a mechanical task focused solely on job opportunities; it's about intentionally surrounding ourselves with colleagues who contribute to the culture we crave. Seek out meaningful relationships and personal friendships with professionals who share your life purpose and treat others with kindness and respect. By deliberately building a network aligned with your values, you can cultivate a professional environment that uplifts and fulfills you.

4. Navigating Virtual Connections

In today's virtual landscape, maximizing networking opportunities requires adaptability and creativity. While social media platforms like LinkedIn are essential tools, remember that professional networking is about human connections. Consider the following strategies to enhance virtual networking:

- Actively participate in online industry forums, virtual conferences, and webinars to engage with like-minded professionals.

- Utilize video calls (no matter how your background looks) to establish a more personal and authentic connection with contacts.

- Show genuine interest in others' work and experiences, seeking opportunities to support and collaborate.

- Leverage social media platforms to showcase your expertise and engage in meaningful conversations within your industry.

5. Embrace Curiosity and Uncertainty

To build meaningful relationships in today's modern business world, it is essential to embrace curiosity and uncertainty. Thinking you know it all, or worse, acting like it, is a massive career roadblock. Approach interactions with genuine curiosity about others, their perspectives, and their experiences. Ask open-ended questions, actively listen, and seek to understand before being understood. Curiosity opens the door to deeper connections and fosters empathy and understanding.

Similarly, embrace uncertainty as an opportunity for growth. Recognize that you may encounter individuals with different backgrounds, beliefs, and experiences. Instead of shying away from these differences, embrace them as opportunities for learning and expanding your own worldview. Be open to challenging your assumptions and be willing to engage in respectful conversations even when there is disagreement. By embracing curiosity and uncertainty, you create an environment where meaningful relationships can thrive.

6. Distinguish Between Relationship-Building and Transactional Moments

In the pursuit of professional networking, it is important to distinguish between relationship-building moments and transactional moments. Relationship-building moments are characterized by genuine connections, meaningful conversations, and a focus on building rapport and trust. These moments go beyond superficial exchanges and seek to establish a foundation for long-term relationships.

On the other hand, transactional moments are more task-oriented and focused on immediate outcomes. While they have their place in professional interactions, relying solely on transactional moments can hinder the development of deep and meaningful connections. Strive to prioritize relationship-building moments by investing time and effort into getting to know others, showing genuine interest, and fostering authentic connections. By recognizing the difference between transactional and relationship-building moments, you can cultivate a network based on trust, support, and mutual growth.

Embracing the art of professional networking in today's modern business world requires intentionality, curiosity, and authenticity. Remember, networking is not just about transactions; it's about forging genuine connections with fellow professionals who share your aspirations and values.

Feed Your Workplace Culture These Three Things

This is part of a series of articles on Social Excellence in the workplace called “The Relationship Business Series.” Because after all, we’re all in the relationship business. For more helpful content like this, sign up for (free) The 21 Days of Social Excellence.

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by Matt Mattson

Workplace culture is not a fixed and permanent reality. You don't write a mission statement or a set of workplace values and then you're done.

Culture is an ever evolving organism. It is alive. It can become malnourished or it can flourish. You have to feed it.

Workplace culture will thrive if you feed it these three things constantly.

1) Acknowledge the Full Humanity of Your People: Every individual in the workplace brings a unique set of experiences, perspectives, and aspirations. And they also bring a whole bunch of difficult real-life stuff with them every day. Kids, elder care, money troubles, family drama, mental health challenges, things they only tell their therapist, etc. To cultivate a culture that thrives, we must recognize and honor the full, complicated, messy humanity of our people. Always see your colleagues up close. Wonder about their challengs. Celebrate their real-life wins with them. Give them grace and forgiveness because they're wildly complicated and almost certainly trying their best.

2) Connection First, Production Second: In the pursuit of productivity and results, it's easy to overlook the importance of human connection. It sounds like one of those "soft skills" you heard about at a seminar one time. But a culture that prioritizes connection over production recognizes that true success is built on strong relationships and a sense of belonging. People don't care about their job until their job cares about them. This is why we believe so deeply in Social Excellence as a cultural centerpiece for businesses and organizations. By fostering genuine connections among team members, we create an environment where trust, empathy, and collaboration can flourish. When individuals feel valued and supported, they are more likely to support your cause and add value to the company.

3) Non-Negotiable “People Like us” Prompt: Do your people know how to finish this sentence? “People like us… people who work here… we always ________ and we never ________.” I’m convinced that too many organizations haven’t clearly defined WHO they are. I don’t mean the boring page on your website that nobody ever visits. Or the Successories frame with your special values you have hanging on the walls. I mean a passionate answer to the “People Like Us Do Things Like This” prompt. A thriving culture is built upon shared values and commitments that are non-negotiable. By clearly providing an answer to this prompt, and upholding these shared commitments, accountability and productivity become a lot more likely.

Create the culture you crave.

If you want to work in a place that is the kind of place you want to work, then you have to work to create that kind of place (did that sentence make sense?).

Nurturing a flourishing workplace culture requires ongoing effort and intentional actions. You have to feed it.

Remember, culture is not a one-time endeavor. It is a continuous process of feeding and nurturing. By acknowledging the full humanity of our people, prioritizing connection over production, and establishing shared non-negotiable commitments, we can cultivate a workplace culture that drives results, retention, and a rewarding home away from home for people.

Culture. Feed it.

How To Talk Like a Human at Work According to ChatGPT

This is part of a series of articles on Social Excellence in the workplace called “The Relationship Business Series.” Because after all, we’re all in the relationship business. For more helpful content like this, sign up for (free) The 21 Days of Social Excellence.

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by Matt Mattson

I asked ChatGPT for some Socially Excellent ideas to start up more meaningful conversations at work. I said, "Be playful with your ideas."

As predicted, the robot's ideas are kind of dumb.

But maybe there’s something we can learn. Read my commentary. And read to the end for some practical takeaways.

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Me: “Hi ChatGPT. Would you please generate a list of mundane, boring, cliche workplace conversation starters along with better alternative ideas that might lead to more meaningful human connection? Be playful with your ideas! Thanks!”

Robot: Sure! Here are 10 playful alternatives to mundane workplace conversation starters:

Robot: Instead of "How about this weather?" try "What's your favorite bizarre weather phenomenon? I'm partial to spontaneous cloud formations shaped like famous celebrities."

Me: No. Don’t ask that or say that. But maybe offer a story about a weather-related memory and ask if they have any similar memories.

Robot: Instead of "Did you catch the game last night?" try "If you could create a new sport combining any two existing sports, what would it be called and how would it be played? I'm thinking underwater basketball with synchronized swimming halftime shows."

Me: OK. I guess this is fine. But maybe instead of going straight to ridiculous 7th grade camp level ridiculous icebreaker prompts, maybe try asking for a story about their favorite sports team, or what turned them into such a fan.

Robot: Instead of "What are your plans for the weekend?" try "If you could teleport anywhere in the world this weekend, where would you go? And more importantly, can I stow away in your teleportation pod?"

Me: This isn’t the worst.

Robot: Instead of "Did you see the latest episode of that popular TV show?" try "If you could be a character in any TV show, which one would you choose and why? Personally, I'm torn between becoming a dragon-riding wizard in a fantasy epic or a talking pizza delivery guy in a quirky sitcom."

Me: Dude. What? This is just the weird version of “are you more of a Miranda, Samantha, Carrie, or Charlotte?” That’s just fun stuff. Fun is good. But half dragon, half pizza guy is a little out there, AI overlord.

Robot: Instead of "How was your commute today?" try "What's the most creative way you've ever avoided rush hour traffic? I once rode a unicycle through a secret underground tunnel."

Me: The alternative question here is good. Also, “How do you make the most of your commute?" is good. But the unicycle thing is just stupid, Chatty.

Robot: Instead of "Can you believe it's only Wednesday?" try "If you could invent a new day of the week, what would it be called and what kind of shenanigans would be allowed on that day? I vote for 'Friyay Jr.' with mandatory karaoke breaks every hour."

Me: Sure. Whatever.

Robot: Instead of "Any plans for the holidays?" try "If you could have an unlimited budget for a dream vacation, where would you go and what extraordinary experiences would you have? I'm thinking a trip to the moon with zero-gravity ice cream tasting sessions."

Me: You can dial it back just a notch, robot. Goodness. People have wonderful and complicated emotions related to holidays and family gatherings. You don't have to bring in zero-gravity ice cream to find something to connect about. How about you just CARE about people's complicated relationships with holidays.

Robot: Instead of "How about them [local sports team]?" try "If you could create a mascot for our office, what would it be and what would its superpower be? I'm envisioning a fearless coffee bean with the ability to teleport caffeine directly into our mugs."

Me: Silly icebreaker questions and demonstrating genuine curiosity are, in fact, two very different things.

Robot: Instead of "Any exciting updates on your projects?" try "If you could work on any fictional project from a book, movie, or TV show, which one would you choose? I'd love to be a part of a secret spy mission led by a genius sloth."

Me: I don’t even know how to answer that question, robot! I actually thought the first one you asked here was better.

Robot: Instead of "Do you have any pets?" try "If you could have any legendary mythical creature as a pet, which one would you choose and how would you take care of it? I'm torn between a baby dragon that sneezes glitter and a phoenix that doubles as a personal alarm clock."

Me: No. Stop. Just ask about their pets. Just wonder about their relationship with their animals. Just dig deeper about how their pets bring them joy. Stop with the mythical creature stuff.

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If you made it this far through the ChatGPT Robot's goofy recommendations, congratulations!

As a real human, here are three takeaways I hope you'll implement in your workplace interactions.

1) Sincere is Better Than Silly. You don't have to be wacky to be someone who cultivates real connection.

2) Mundane Might Lead to Meaning. Don't feel pressure to "never do small talk." Small talk is fine. Just keep going with it. Go one level deeper. Ask simple follow up questions.

3) Fun Fuels Friendships. Being fun and playful is actually great. People are craving it in their lives and in their workplaces. Don't take "networking" or "building culture" too seriously while you're working. Fun fuels friendships, and friendships are the foundation of functional teams.

For now, we are more human than the machines. May we all make daily choices about our interactions so that we might stay that way.

One More Moment: Transforming Workplace Connections

This is part of a series of articles on Social Excellence in the workplace called “The Relationship Business Series.” Because after all, we’re all in the relationship business. For more helpful content like this, sign up for (free) The 21 Days of Social Excellence.

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by Matt Mattson

The one thing I wish I could give every workplace is the gift of a culture filled with human connection.

The one thing I every company and organization needs to perform at a higher level is a culture filled with human connection.

And yet...

Tasks, To-Dos, 1-on-1's, QPRs, Demands, Performance Reviews, All Hands Meetings

Agendas, Priorities, Quarterly Targets...

The workplace can be inhuman. The workplace can be gray and sickly.The workplace can be soul-sucking.

Finding inspiration to connect with other humans deeply, within the kafkaesque daily grind, can feel impossible. I get it.

In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to treat conversations as transactions—brief exchanges of information, devoid of depth and genuine connection.

But what if you dared to transform just "One More Moment"?

Not the whole day. Not the whole workplace culture all at once. But just one moment in your day.

What I've learned is that one more moment can be everything. One more moment of feeling cared for can make me not want to quit tomorrow. One more moment of feeling seen and heard can make me want to contribute more. One more moment of feeling like I matter can make me a fanatic for our company's cause.

Imagine taking one more moment tomorrow, looking up from your screen, and meeting a co-worker's eyes with undivided attention. Imagine one more moment in the breakroom going one-level deeper when a colleague shares an anecdote about their life. Imagine one more moment with your supervisor where you allow them to be just 1% more human with you than your relationship normally requires.

Imagine the story you'll tell your family around the dinner table tomorrow night about how good of a day you had at work.

"One More Moment" extends beyond face-to-face encounters. In the realm of digital communication, where speed often trumps connection, we can make a difference there too. Picture a Zoom call where you, noticing your colleague's quiet demeanor, take a breath and ask a genuine question about their personal life. With that one extra moment, you can convey care and acknowledge the whole person behind the screen.

Even in the realm of emails, texts, or Slack messages, we can infuse "One More Moment" into our digital interactions. It's the difference between a hurried response and a thoughtful inquiry about someone's well-being. It's a small gesture that can have a significant impact on the quality of our relationships.

Think about it. One more moment each hour, amidst the demands of an eight-hour workday, to make a more Socially Excellent choice. It's a choice to put people before tasks, to cultivate a culture of love-filled collegiality, and to transform the way we connect in the workplace.

Imagine the possibilities if we collectively embraced "One More Moment." Team dynamics might shift from transactional to transformative. Productivity might thrive as individuals feel seen, heard, and valued. And in the midst of our professional pursuits, we might cultivate a deeper sense of belonging and fulfillment.

So, as you navigate your workplace today and tomorrow, I encourage you to take a breath, pause, and choose "One More Moment." Embrace the power of connection, both in person in your digital life. Let's dare to create a workplace culture that embodies Social Excellence — one moment at a time.

1 to 3 Feet of Real Estate (That Could Transform Your Career)

This is part of a series of articles on Social Excellence in the workplace called “The Relationship Business Series.” Because after all, we’re all in the relationship business. For more helpful content like this, sign up for (free) The 21 Days of Social Excellence.

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by Matt Mattson

It's right there in front of you.

The most important real estate you'll encounter in your professional life.

I know it's not big. But that's the point.

Just 1 to 3 feet of space. And it could make all the difference.

All the difference in your career.

All the difference in your professional fulfillment.

All the difference in your workplace culture.

All the difference for you as a leader and supervisor.

All the difference.

According to social scientists, the average amount of space between people in a conversation is somewhere between 1 to 3 feet.

That space... the space between us... that 1 to 3 feet of real estate... it's everything.

If you focused a LOT more of your attention on how you fill that small amount of space, everything will change.

The way we fill the space between ourselves and our colleagues defines WHO we are as a professional.

Every deal you ever make will happen in that space.

Every mentor you ever have will make their impact in that space.

Every promotion you ever get will be because of how you fill that space.

Fill it with listening. Fill it with things that generate trust. Fill it with care. Fill it with curiosity, love, and vulnerability.

The best professionals are good at the real estate game. They invest in that small space over and over throughout their career. And that investment keeps paying off guaranteed dividends over time.

Welcome to this series of articles and videos we created for the business world: “The Relationship Business Series”. Because we’re all in the relationship business, aren’t we?

We’ve been teaching Social Excellence in corporate spaces, non-profit spaces, university spaces, faith spaces, and any space that will have us… for a long time. We wanted to create this simple series as a fresh way to think about the power of human connection in your career life. We hope you’ll enjoy it!